THE ODDS
"Remember, the world is a big place.
Even if you are a Bowler in a million,
It means there are a 1000 more like you around the world.



TRYING
" If at first you don't succeed, Try one of the following.
(1) Blame your Bowls
(2) Blame someone else
(3) Seek coaching.


ADVICE
" If your Skip wants an opinion, He'll give it to you".


PERFECTION
Can Someone tell me why,
"If practice makes perfect", and as we know nobodys perfect,
Why bother to Practice


THE TEAM.
The lads had arranged to have a practice bounce before the big match,
Sunday morning was chosen, and they all arrived on time except Fred.
When he finally arrived, the others all asked;"what kept you ?"
Well " It was a toss-up as to whether I went to church or joined you blokes bowling", Fred replied.
" That shouldn't have taken long ", said the skip.
" Well it did, I had to toss 13 times



TO ALL MEMBERS.
If you make tea in the club house,
Please empty the tea pot, then stand upside down on the draining board!


A NOTICE ON THE CARETAKERS DOOR.
I can repair anything,(Please knock loudly-the bell does'nt work).


A DEED OF GIFT.
A local farmer, whose land ajoined the village bowling green,
offered the club a small field next door to
the green for the future use of the members.
Asked by the club treasurer the cost,
Oh it's free said the farmer, but I'd watch the bull,
"HE CHARGES"



A NOTICE OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP.
We buy sell and exchange all bowling equipment and accessories,
Why not bring along your wife and get a wonderful bargain!


Definition of a novice:
A new convert to bowls who confessess he knows nothing about the game and then
becomes angry when you agree with him.

Definition of a substitute:
One accepted with faith, endured with hope, but seldom remembered with charity.



Definition of a coach:
One who appears to agree with whatever you tell him.



Q: What do you do with someone who can't draw, can't roll the jack, can't set the mat, can't keep score
and won't listen?----A: Make them skip.



The glazier's in Amanzimtoti were extremely busy in January
Supplier of the Month





A reward has been offered for 2 missing watermelons




Tommy the toolman can get some lessons from our clubhouse Manager






How many members does it take to change a lightbulb?



Answer: 2 or 3
(depending on whether you take the advice of the Figjam Academy Convenor of Selectors or not)





Don't go down to Rocky Bay



Or you could end up looking like this



Herbie was spotted doing some birdwatching .....



.... and the ladies weren't even playing!


Dennis has confirmed that the granddaughter is in training ... we're not too sure what for - maybe bowls?




The EX V.P. and "Mini-Me"
were spotted - joined at the hip
(03/11/07)












Rumour has it that the
"STIRRER OF THE YEAR"
finally met his match







Newly formed Twini Disciplinary Committee
& their outlawed mode of transport.....







A beer is a beer is a beer .....
or is it?



FOR SALE
1 x Garden Gnome
GOING CHEAP!




3 Little Oddballs all in a row .....



A Reward has been offered for whoever can establish the origins of the photograph below. Please contact Roy (Grumpy) with information




Dallas as an infant - no different today




Soccer hooligan in Plzen










Guess the owner and the size of these magnificent bowling shoes
AND WIN A PRIZE!
(* the prize could be the 5kg jar of Vaseline shown below)



SPECIAL
5kg Vaseline tub
requirement for certain teams in the PNB 4's starting on 10/02/2007
.....NO NAMES MENTIONED!




Dallas - he spent his tip all at once!



Choong ...Choong - Happy days are here again!





Mother Xmas - Andrew Lawson




UNDER THE MISTLETOE!





GUESS WHO?





SNOW WHITE & THE 7 DORKS

I promise ..... I caught them all!

How much are the beers now?

Wipe yer nose Grumpy






Grumpy's Revenge




Did you have to be so smug about our win against the ladies?

Kitty and Jack

My husband took up bowling
and he bragged upon the phone
about some dame called Kitty
whom he couldn't leave alone
He played with Kitty
he stayed with Kitty
he picked her up without a hitch
He missed Kitty
he kissed Kitty
he even layed beside her in the ditch
So I took up bowling
to win my hubby back
and found that what he could do with Kitty,
I could do with Jack

Don't drink with friends you can't trust!

Golf Joke
It was a sunny morning, and Murray was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker - "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee back up to the men's tee, please!"

Murray was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.

Again the announcement - "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly back up to the men's tee!"

Murray had had enough. He breaks his stance, lowers his driver back to the ground and shouts, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut the hell up and let me play my second shot?"

THE HUGHES HAIR ACADEMY

George's trip to the ballet